Fear of failure is something we all know too well. It's a self sabotaging behavior that keeps us from our goals and dreams. It leaves us with regrets that loom over us day in and day out. So why do we have fear? Well C. JoyBell C. put it like this "Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it." I think she has something here. If what we wanted most was so easy to attain I think many of us would take it for granted and not really get to "feel" that euphoric sense of success and accomplishment. So how do we kick this bad behavior?
Break your dream down into steps and pre-plan. Losing 20 lbs before that Christmas party or becoming an IFBB pro in a few months time (my dream) seems like Mount Everest at first but if you break that goal down into small steps/tasks you can really get a hold of it starts to look more attainable. It actually starts too look like that hill behind your house or down the street that you can manage to climb a few times. If you want to lose weight you have to do your homework. You need to have a meal plan figured out and you have to think about how many calories you will limit yourself to. You should also have a gym/workout plan put together before you get to the gym. You are going to want to think about days you are going to workout and what muscle groups. There is a lot of information on the internet about how to drop weight in healthy ways. There are also professional nutritionists and personal trainers that have structured plans you can purchase less than $100 a plan. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that your journey is enjoyable and that you aren't burning yourself out before you have even started. That means getting enough rest and sometimes saying no to girls/boys night.
Separate yourself from negative people. I have to tell you that my family wasn't 100% on board with my dream of becoming a bikini competitor. They were used to seeing me more full than the weight I am at right now. My mother kept telling me that my face looked too skinny and that I needed to eat more, even though I was eating 5x's a day. More than what everyone else in my household was eating. Hearing all of these comments did make me angry and disappointed, but I separated myself from them by taking a walk or going to a different room. I wouldn't even engage it anymore. I started to believe that "they just didn't understand" and you know what, they didn't. It took a while for them to really see that what I was doing was something great for my health. I now have my Mom's full support and my family is excited to see me compete again. The more you are around like minded people, the easier it is push out all that negativity. I have met friends at the gym and at competitions that keep in touch on Facebook and Instagram. We all support each other. Oh, I also wanted to mention that I would get told by my family that my body fat was genetics and I would never be able to get rid of it (Cue my straight mouthed face with me saying to myself silently "Cause you're an expert on genetics right?"). Unless, you have a friend or family member that is a medical geneticist, don't believe everything you hear.
Think positive thoughts. Get out of your head and start telling yourself you can do it. I like these phrases when my brain turns to the dark side "This is too easy", "I got this", "Piece of cake", "I'm in charge here and I say I can", "I'm a man/woman of action", and my all time favorite from the Hobbit movie "I am fire, I am death." I use that one a lot, it gets me pumped.
Accept that you will have to sacrifice. You WILL have to sacrifice or an easier word to bear, TRADE. You will have to trade things for others. I trade going out and having mimosas with friends for quiet movie nights at home or early gym sessions. Some will have to trade sleep for morning cardio sessions. Others will have to trade skipping on that favorite T.V. show at home for putting in more time in the office for that raise. Just keep in mind that it's worth it and keep moving forward.